August - 04
Q: Dear friend in Christ,

My question is this: During the Sacrament of Penance I confess the number of sins of viewing obscene materials or masturbation but I do not specify this more. The specification could be that my desires are disorderly directed to "romantic bondage" fantasies or images and self-bondage. I thought that confessing the sin in generic terms is better - one should not try to describe all the sad and "dirty" details.
However, recently, I have realized that maybe as a sort of perversion I should confess these aggravating circumstance as well. What do you think?

I've been struggling with addiction to pornography since childhood. By grace of God and regular confession, I am living a life with more chastity,
although I still fail - especially in situations of "opportunity".

I pray to God and to Our Lady for the miracle, for the permanent gift of chastity. I love Jesus above all and my deepest desire is to serve Him completely, with undivided heart, to live in holiness. There is no greater tragedy in life than not to become holy. My failures are my worst suffering in life.

Thank you for your mission, I offer today's fast for you,

God bless you,
Paul J.

A:  Dear Paul J.,
I recommend that you direct your question regarding details of specific sins to your confessor and let him advise you.
We should, insofar as is possible, recount the number of times we have committed a given sin, but I doubt that your confessor would want you to go to any more detail than confessing sin & frequency.
When we pray the Act of Contrition, we promise God and our Blessed Mother that we will do our best to "avoid the near occasion of sin."  And this we must do, no matter what form that "opportunity" may take.
 

Habits are broken best by changing your patterns.  Look to see where your living patterns lead you to occasions of temptation, then redirect and refocus your activities to avoid these situations.  Pray about this and ask our Blessed Mother for help and guidance in this effort.
 

Also, take a look at our web site.  There is a new book available from Rosemarie Scott entitled "Clean of Heart", which is specific to our ministry of helping addicts overcome their addictions to lust using a very Catholic approach.  I recommend that you purchase a copy and begin practicing its exercises.

Lastly, do not ever despair or give up.  Both of these thoughts come from the devil, never from God.  Persevere no matter what, regardless of the gravity or frequency of your sin, stay focused on the Love, Mercy and Compassion of Almighty God.
Know that you are in our daily prayers.
God Bless!

paul
for the Serenellians and www.PornNoMore.com